Introduction
This week’s second MSLD520 blog is about supportive
communication and how I can integrate the concepts of supportive communication in
my current position. Unlike some of my previous blogs where I was blogging
about a particular weakness, this blog is about a topic I feel is in my “wheel-house”.
As part of this assignment, I will be addressing the following:
- The 8 attributes of supportive communication (as it
pertains to delivering negative feedback) and how I use them in my current
position.
- What additional actions can I take to improve
supportive communication with my team?
1. How I Use the 8 Attributes of Supportive Communication
a.
Ensure congruence between
verbal and non-verbal communication
Having been through emotional intelligence
training has led to very significant improvements for me in this particular area.
When speaking paying attention to your own non-verbal communication can be a distraction, so my
rule of thumb to make sure my non-verbal communication is congruent with the words coming
out of my mouth is for my communication to always be genuine and authentic. One
of my favorite TV shows is Judge Judy and there is one phrase she says that
always sticks in my mind “You don’t have to have a good memory if you tell the
truth.
I believe the same goes for making sure your
communication is congruent with your non-verbals with this twist “You don’t
have to worry about your non-verbals if your communication is genuine and
authentic”. Whetten & Cameron (2011) provides additional credibility to my
long-time strategy of having congruent communication “When building
interpersonal relationships, and when coaching and counseling others, genuine,
honest statements are always better than artificial or dishonest statements.”
(p. 247).
On the flip side I’m paying attention to the
people communicating with me to make sure what comes out of the mouth matches
their non-verbals. Just this week I asked a co-worker how they were doing. “Things
are great” was their response, yet their head was moving left to right.
Obviously there was something bothering them which spurred further questioning
and dialogue.
b.
Be descriptive
When
talking about a problem, I focus on the attributes of the problem in a matter
of fact manner, never making it personal. For example “John, this step doesn't align with our simplified technical English standard. Please aligned the step with
the standard in this manner”. By keeping the conversation at a non-personal
level, adult ego states are likely to be in-place. In the event the counselee
is moves to a complaining child state, the counselor being in the adult state
has the best chance of maintain control of the counseling session. “When
someone addresses your child with a punitive parent or addresses your parent
with a complaining child, the only way to stop the conflict is to function in
the adult position.” (Mckay, Davis & Fanning, 2009. p. 100).
c.
Focus on the problem
I
believe this is related very closely to descriptive of the issue (b. above).
Focusing on the problem and not the individual is paramount to finding a
solution
d.
Validate suggestions
Validating
suggestions is extremely important in building self-confidence. Self-confidence
in-turn strengthens creativity and in-turn leads to high morale and motivation
within a team. When someone has a good suggestion for improving their skill set
or attitude, acknowledge that there suggestion is good and tell them why you
think it is good. Management recently told one of my team members that he had a
problem understanding him and asked me what management meant by that. I gave
him honest feedback that what they probably meant was that at times he uses
terms that most people in our group was unfamiliar with and that he should use
terms that are closer to what average writers would use. I knew that would
probably upset him…and it did, but I had to give him honest feedback.
e.
Zoom in on specifics and don’t use too many
generalizations
Making
general statements about a behavior problem or lack of skills does little to
bring a better understanding of the problem. You as the counselor owe it to the
counselee to zoom in on the details that need to be strengthened or changed. By
zooming in on the issue(s) you’ll provide a clearer picture of the details that
need to be addressed.
f.
Be conjunctive
Being
conjunctive means provide a path of communication that easily lends itself to
moving coherently from one idea to the next. Using transitions to move from one
thought to the next “facilitates interaction”. (Whetten & Cameron, 2011, p.
243).
g.
Descriptive of the issue
When
talking about a problem, I focus on the attributes of the problem in a matter
of fact manner, never making it personal. For example “John, this step doesn't align with our simplified technical English standard. Please aligned the step with
the standard in this manner”.
h.
Take ownership of your
comments
Taking
ownership of your comments shows resolve to correct the behavior and what you
are specifically expecting to happen. Using “they expect” for instance deflects
expectations to a distant third party”. Saying “I expect” brings the solution
contract back to a very personal level between you and the counselee. May be
harder to say, but is much more effective and is where it is at if you’re
really interested in helping them.
i.
Supportive listening
When
you truly listen and are prepared to listen your communicating to the counselee
they are important. Because you give them a sense of importance it opens up the
lines of two way communication and builds trust that you have their best
interest at heart. “Listening is a compliment because it says to the other
person, I care about what’s happening to you; your life and your experience are
important.” (Mckay, Davis & Fanning, 2009. p. 6).
2. What additional actions can I take to improve
supportive communication with my team?
For starters, I can set aside fifteen minutes at
the end of each week to reflect on the coaching and counseling sessions that occurred
that week and highlight the areas needing improvement. I really haven’t had any
real counseling sessions, but I do have plenty of coaching sessions. Typically
in a week I’ll have 5 – 10 coaching sessions. In addition, I will continue to
work on my storytelling skills and work the right story in a the right time.
Conclusion
Whetten and Cameron (2011) and MSLD 520 has made
a significant contribution this week to reviewing the importance of supportive
communication and how I can use my knowledge to help others in my organization.
Whetten, D. & Cameron, K., (2011). Developing management skills. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.
